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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Gone with the wind.

Minutes after midnight. Where are you? Here I am with the guys from college. Have a good day, pancakes, waffles and honey.

Mawson Lakes,
Ang Mo Kia

Friday, February 27, 2009

An ocean away from you.

Sometimes we travel a million miles just to find something for our lonely heart but we didn't realise it is just a few mega bytes away. God save the king.

King Edward VII memorial,
Ang Mo Kia

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Long way from home.


A picture tells a thousand words. It might cheer you up too.

Salisbury Highway,
Ang Mo Kia

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

engineering, starfruit yogurt and the surf board.

One of the many things I still cannot get used to in Adelaide is :
1. people here walk super fast. I was with this Australian dude and we were chatting as we were walking towards the train station and he walks very fast. I got a hard time catching up.
2. The weather sometimes is pretty cold here, for instance today, 24th Feb 09, morning was like 12 degrees C. Unbelievable.
3. Here you can see wild life everywhere, say even the pond near my house, there is a bunch of ducks and even a pelican.
4. Shops, restaurant and malls closes at 5 in the evening the latest. I still cannot get a hang of it. I am bored. 
5. Limited broadband. WTF? I only have access to 4Gb a month which cost about 50 Aus $ per month. My university only provide up to 1Gb a year. Even more WTF?
6. The people's accent. The mat salleh sometimes do speak with a super hard to understand accent. I once called the Optus help line and I couldn't even understand what were they talking. Maybe outsourced Indians on the line? or is it just me?
7. The flies are irritating me always. 
8. The nearest supermarket to the place I am living which is Mawson Lakes, is around 20 km away. It's in Elizabeth. Adelaide city is pretty small with only 1 street of shopping mall, Rundle Mall of course. 

All in all, there are a lot of things which are beautiful, efficient and interesting. If any of you guys wanna come find me, please do so. Trust me, it's worth the trip. Australia is some place special.

Cheers mate (that's what the aussie love to say),
Ang Mo Kia.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

搞笑

1. 有一个花花公子,因为玩的太凶了,结果那个就生病了,连续看了好几个西医医生,都告诉他那个不行了,一定得切掉,那花花公子怎舍得呢?就跑去看中医,医生看了看,说:“虽然太晚了,嗯,不过没关系!” “真的吗?可是我看了好多西医都说一定要切掉。”
医生道:“唉!西医就是这样,动不动就要切东西,这瓶药你拿去,每天涂三次,要不了多久,它就会自己掉下来的!”





2. 有个漂亮的单身女警因为怕一个人独居太危险,所以养了一只凶恶的狗防身。有一天,当这位美丽的女警正在洗澡时,窄小的公寓突然发生火警,女警匆匆披上浴巾逃出火场,可是没穿内裤又觉得很不好意思,于是女警就把大狗叫过来,让狗闻一闻她的下体,希望狗能依著她的味道,回房里叼一件内裤出来。这只狗的鼻子的确不错,只见它不畏漫天大火,左去右回三十秒,相当迅速地叼来女警挂在衣橱里最粗最长的那根警棍。。。。。





3. 在酒吧里,一个性感美女在吧台边坐了下来,摆出撩人的姿势。
酒保走过来,问她要点什么,她勾一勾食指,示意酒保靠近她,然后双手捧著酒保的脸,一边抚摸,一面用性感的声音说:“你是这里的经理吗?”
“不是。”酒保回答。
美女把手伸到酒保的头发里问:“那你可以帮我把经理叫来吗?”
“恐怕不行!”酒保说:“有什么我可以效劳的吗?”
美女把手指伸到酒保的嘴唇上,酒保开始温柔地吸吮她的手指。
十根手指都吸吮一遍之后,美女继续说:“那请你帮我告诉你们经理,女厕里的卫生纸用完了。”



4. 一壮汉阴囊疼痛,去医院看病。值班大夫是一年青姑娘,
问他:“你哪儿不舒服?”
壮汉:“蛋疼!”
大夫:“睾丸疼?”
壮汉:“不光是搞完以后疼,不搞也疼!”



5. 话说... 我与一位好朋友去看电影.. 正在排队买票,有一位陌生男子向我们走了过来..
他表明了他的来意..... 他说:小姐对不起,我跟我女朋友约好了, 可是我迟到了,你能不能让我插队买票? 这时候的我当然不肯啊...
他只好再跟前面的小姐请求....小姐,你能不能让我“
插”一下,我很急的....那小姐一囗就答应了, 可是,小姐又补充了一句..........“你只能插我後面,不能插我前面哦....”



6. 一天某男子来到一家小诊所,对医生说:我的左睾丸变绿了!医生听了后,将他的睾丸仔细检查后说:生理卫生没做好,细菌感染,切除!
在切除左睾丸切除后一个月,男子又来到了诊所:医生,这个月来我天天注意卫生,可右睾丸还是变绿了!医生:细菌感染!再次切除!
又一个月过去了,轮到男子中间那玩意遭殃了,他这次没去小诊所,而是到了一个正规医院,医院的金牌老医师推了推眼镜,慢斯条理的说:根据我多年的经验来看,这是内裤掉色了!



7. 女人结婚有什么用?
答案是:“有个鸟用”
那男人为什么要离婚呢?
“因为不想干了!”
同性恋结婚有什么用?
答案是:“有个屁用”


8. 在一个寒冷的冬夜,三个无家可归的流浪汉挤在一起取暖,早上醒来后,左边的人说:“我梦见有人抓住了我的阴茎。”
右边的人说:“我也梦见有人抓我的阴茎。”
中间的人说:“我梦到我在滑雪耶。”


9. 一个美丽的上午,天空晴朗无比,可是一个农夫醉熏熏地坐在门口,失魂落魄地。
一个过路人好奇地上前问道:老乡,今天天气这么好,你怎么不去享受,反而在这里喝闷酒啊。
农夫回答:哎,一些事情,你永远无法解释。
过路人:发生什么不幸了?
农夫:今天我在挤牛奶,刚好挤了一捅,奶牛用左脚把通踢翻。
过路人:是挺倒霉的,但是还不至于啊。
农夫:哎,一些事情,你永远无法解释。
过路人:那接着呢?
农夫:我用绳子把她左腿绑在了柱子上接着挤,结果刚好一桶接满,她又用右腿把桶踢翻了。
过路人哈哈大笑又问到:然后呢?
农夫:哎,一些事情,你永远无法解释。
我把她右腿绑到了另外一根柱子上了,结果刚好接满一桶,她又用尾巴把桶扫倒了。
过路人:是够倒霉的。算了,不要难过了。
农夫:哎,一些事情,你永远无法解释。
过路人:还有什么?!
农夫:这回我没绳子了,就计划用皮带把她尾巴绑到柱子上。我把皮带抽出来,把她尾巴抓起来。
这时,我的裤子掉了,正巧我女朋友进来了……


10. 一个男的和一个女的在吵架,全班的同学都在看,那个男的明显地被那个女的骂的一塌呼渡,最后挨了10来分钟的骂,那个男的突然说;你当我妈不?
女的:那你叫我啊
男的:妈
女的:怎么了
男的:妈
女的:儿子,你想干什么?
男的:妈,我要吃10分钟的奶了

Friday, February 13, 2009

Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Adelaide

Yes, I did arrive in Adelaide. It was 8 in the morning just now when I met the family that I suppose to live with. It was pretty chilly. The sun is bright and strong. The part about flying is when you're lost in Terminal one in Singapore. So, finally I got on board on QF 82 to Adelaide. The flight was almost full. When I was in the plane, I managed to talk to this mat salleh who just got back from London, heading home. I told him, I am from Malaysia. One of the only things he loved about Malaysia, is Roti Canai. Unbelievable. He claimed that once, when he was in Singapore, he drove all the way up to the border of Johor Bharu just to have Roti Canai. He said, I love Roti Canai with Telur. His exact words. Through-out the journey, the turbulence made me very dizzy plus I was really hungry as I didn't have any Singaporean Dollar with me. Around 4 am Hong Kong time, the air stewardess woke me up for breakfast. I arrived at Adelaide at 8am local time. Like I said, it is cold and it's only summer now. I wonder how am I going to cope during winter. A few things I realised in Australia, is there is no ceiling fan indoor, there are no locks on door except the toilet and football are for girls.( I walked into a football shop and I saw girls talking about the boots they are going to buy)
It's 6pm in Adelaide now. The shops in the shopping mall closed by 4pm. Shocking. I think I am going for a walk. Everything here seems so different. I cannot understand some of their accent. Here I am. 

The view from here is better with you by my side.


I'm still here, 
Ang Mo Kia


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

情人节短信

手机可以挂在脖子上当项链,可以放在眼前当相机,还会有谁那么老土不知道手机也能调情?情人节到了,别忘记你的手机可能就是你手中非凡的武器,给暗恋的人发去丘比特的箭,给天天见面的爱人发去平时难以启口的情话,或者给好朋友发去足以让他惦记一个月的匿名情书……我们制造了这么多甜言蜜语或是情话炮弹,酸甜苦辣随你挑,给他(她)发个短信吧!

1. 你的过去我来不及参与,你的未来我不会再错过!真诚之中,与你相识相知;灵犀之间,与你朝夕相伴。

2. 看到你,我怕触电;看不到你,我需要充电;如果没有你,我想我会断电。爱你是我的职业,想你是我的事业,抱你是我的特长,吻你是我的专业!

3. 好想做你的手机,揣在你怀里,捧在你手里,看在你眼里,记在你心里!

4. 宝贝:最近我牙齿痛,因为常常晚上想你,那感觉太甜蜜了,会蛀牙。

5. 世间本无沙漠,我每想你一次,上帝就落下一粒沙,从此便有了撒哈拉!这世界本来没有海,只因为我每想你一次,上帝就掉下一滴眼泪,于是就有了太平洋。

6. 如果爱你是一种错误的话,那我情愿错上加错,哪怕错一辈子!

7. 鱼对水说:你看不见我的眼泪,因为我在水里。水说:我能感觉到你的眼泪,因为你在我心里。

8. 原谅我将你的手机号码告诉了一个陌生人,他叫丘比特,他要帮我告诉你;我心喜欢你,我心在乎你,我心等待你。

9. 有一种默契叫做心照不宣,有一种感觉叫做妙不可言,有一种幸福叫做有你相伴,有一个白痴会把它看完。

10. 读它你欠我一个拥抱;删除它欠我一个吻;储存它欠我一个约会;如回复你欠我全部;如不回你就是我的。选择!

11. 泥是窝的嘴矮!泥是窝的蒙香!窝深情地看着泥!窝要对泥说,窝矮泥!(请大声朗读)

12. 你的照片放在我的办公桌上,清晨看着你,上午看着你,中午看着你,下午看着你,傍晚看着你,晚上看着你。“咕噜咕噜,老婆,什么时候开饭呀?”

Saturday, February 7, 2009

让男生兴奋的举动

1. 拨头发
拨动头发,散发出迷人的发香,好像闻到迷魂散,可以让所有男人魂飞魄散,很多女人自然的会有这个小动作,无心之失惹得男人心花怒放,真是sorry啰!
男人语录:“拨弄头发的感觉很自然、优雅,给人无限的想像空间。”

2. 双腿交叉坐姿
看到女人双腿交叉最易引人遐想,尤其是穿着短裙的时候,坐在对座的人都很期待看到交换交叉双腿的那一刻。
男人语录:“女生的坐姿很重要,这样的坐姿最优雅,所以最性感。”

3. 站着穿鞋
站着穿鞋时单脚着地,自然站得不稳,摇摇欲坠的,会让男人想去扶一把。
男人语录:“女生站着穿鞋,可以展现出优美的线条。”

4. 吃水果
女人吃水果舌头自然伸出,性感得不得了。尤其是吃樱桃的时候,舌尖轻轻抵触,肯定让人血脉贲张。想要讨好男人,下次将整个食物尽可能慢慢放进口中,一定让男人当场下跪。
男人语录:“吃水果的时候嘴型很性感,会让人想要亲一下。”

5. 按摩小腿
这个动作大家都会做,在办公室中女同事若按摩小腿最性感,玉手不停的抚摸小腿,令男人血脉沸腾。
男人语录:“女人按摩腿时,会让人的注意力都集中在美腿,很性感。”

6. 女人伸懒腰
女人伸懒腰,慵懒的感觉就像小猫,让人想要抱抱,而且伸懒腰可以自然地展现出女人身体的线条,胸部凸出,男人即死。
男人语录:“因为,慵懒的体态让人觉得很舒服。”

7. 女人调整肩带
女人调整肩带,在男人的眼中就似当着他的面宽衣解带,自然期待着妳的另一边肩带也一起滑落,最容易引起男人的性幻想。
男人语录:“从来没看过有人当众这样做,我只看过我妈的内衣,所以,我觉得这样很容易让人胡思乱想,哈!”

8. 吃冰淇淋
看到女人用舌头顺着甜筒的形状,慢慢地由下舔到上,保证所有男人把持不住。以后吃冰淇淋的时候请注意一下自己的吃相,不然可是会让男人眼睛吃冰淇淋咧!
男人语录:“吃冰的甜美表情很有吸引力。”

9. 穿迷你裙上楼梯
上楼梯时前面走着一位穿著迷你裙的妹妺,相信所有的男人都希望可以走得慢一点,永远不要到楼梯的尽头,人类偷窥的本能自然而然就会表现出来。
男人语录:“上楼的时候如果前面有一个穿迷你裙的妹妹,在后面的就会想要弯下腰去看个究竟,如果看到小裤裤,就真的赚到了。”

10. 用舌头舔嘴唇
通常做出这个动作,就是直接在挑逗对手的时候了,男人看到肯定飘飘然。
男人语录:“女人如果当着我的面做这个动作,我会觉得她根本就在邀请我。”