The freedom that we seek.

Ever wonder where we come from? Any questions? Yeah. Complicated and complex questions like the origin of earth and the solar system, the mystery of the universe and the big bang theory. Down to simple questions asked when you're found drunk along the sidewalk of Hidley Street like "where are you from?", "what's your name?" or "can you even walk or should I get you a cab?". No matter what, some of us ponder on the origin of our life or just our very existence. I sometimes do think about the past. People say, history is our teacher. I wonder by digging into my past, what would I find? My story or theirs? Maybe a bit of both. Every step my forefathers made lead me to this path.

When I was kid, I always wanted to see the world. Don't get me wrong, I still pretty much want to do that but I question my purpose now. I wonder what will it be like if I would stay back in Australia after graduating, provided if I ever get residency. I like it here, it's beautiful. After befriending students from China, the land of my forefathers. For your information, my paternal grandfather came from Shantou, somewhere relatively close to Hong Kong. My maternal grandfather's ancestry tracks back to Thailand. Yet, I consider myself pretty much a full blood Chinese Malaysian.

Back to my point, knowing these mainland Chinese made me realised how different my life and thoughts are from them although we're just 2 generations away. I was even considered an outcast back in college because I was weird but I don't deny it. Yes, I'm a bit weird or different. The Chinese living in Malaysia has a different lifestyle compared to those from living in China. I believe the overseas Chinese too all around the world. We all have totally unrelated and unique cultural backgrounds. I'm sure my grandfather took a leap of faith when he came to Malaya with his father on a business trip and ended up staying here.

What if I would to live in Australia, have kids and have grandchildren? I understand that to achieve that I need to get married, seriously doubt that any woman would want to marry me. Whatever! Anyway, if I am lucky enough to have children, they might live their life as an Australian and by the time they grow up, they might not have any ties back to Malaysia. The stuff I see here is how ties are broken as if they have no idea how life is back in their homeland. A friend of my uncle came to Australia as a refugee with his family as the Vietnam war broke out. I'm sure his kids have no idea how Vietnam is like now. I don't blame them. It's life.

By the time of my grandchildren, they will most likely have no memories about Malaysia as if my family has never lived there. A few generations down, they might even thought their forefathers come directly from China. How scary is that? No memories of Nasi Lemak, no idea of Merdeka, no thought of bribing the policemen. The truth is, I have no control over them but seriously, I believe living in Malaysia has been a great 18 years of my life. Hypothetically speaking, if I would to migrate overseas, it would be pitiful that my future generation don't have the chance to have the childhood, teenage and school life that I had. It was indeed very colorful.

post - script : as the independence day draw closer, maybe I'm grateful being a Malaysian after all. are you?

Yours truly,

Ang Mo Kia